Pretentious: attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.
Pretentious cloak: Brining much attention to an insecurity by making fun or being the first to bring up to conceal true feelings about it.
This shows up in many ways…
A guy driving a big ass truck who is quite short.
A woman covering her face in a mask of make up who doesn’t like herself.
People who crack jokes at themselves before anyone else has the chance to (because obviously they are thinking the same mean thoughts about us…NOT)
I’ve definitely been in this situation… When I was younger I was SUPER self conscious about the fact the my chest was so…flat. I felt that if I pointed it out to everyone else first and made jokes about it that hopefully they wouldn’t make fun of me for it. I hoped that because I made fun of it they would drop the issue because it didn’t seem to “get to me”. But it still did…because people still made jokes.
Here we are at almost 26 and I’m still concave in the chest. But I’m totally ok with it. I don’t make fun of myself for it and magically I don’t get jokes anymore. I wear sports bras all the time further squashing them away versus the “regular bra” (aka prison) like I always had before.
It is what it is. I am confident in myself and my body. THIS speaks far louder than the jokes I made about myself in attempts to protect me.
I feel this idea of pretending we are ok with things to protect ourselves is all too common. It seems harmless right because no one but yourself is getting hurt right?
Well what if I told you it was a form of manipulation? A way to feel in control?
Being so publicly hard on yourself manipulates how others judge you by lowering their expectations. It’s no fun “kicking the horse” that is already down mentality…
Instead of being your own bully give this a try:
- Get aware. Catch yourself in the act!
- Ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I feel the need to lower someones expectations of me in this particular situation?
- Does their judgement/opinion even matter?
- What am I most afraid of by showing the real me?
- Be proud of yourself and your body.
How your body looks is just a drop in the bucket as to what your worth is. Take off that pretentious cloak “declaring” that you are ok with your flaws when you really aren’t… If you were ok with them, no words would be needed.
It will not make you feel better to be your own bully. It will not make you feel better to act out of a place of disgust. It will not make you feel better to continually speak about yourself that way.
The more you accept from yourself, the more you will take from others.
Be intentional with your words. Don’t say anything you don’t desire to be true.
Be impeccable with your speech. Words have power and not just on other people….but yourself as well.
Please don’t forget that.